Kiss Me Kisame
by Rynon
Summary: "Your name kinda sounds like Kiss Me doesn't it?" What happens when Ren meets the Akatsuki and gets to know a certain blue skinned member? There's only one way to find out...KisamexOC since those are seriously lacking
1. Chapter 1: Kiss arr me

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Naruto, yada, yada, ya. You guys all know this by now :)

Chapter One: Kiss-arr-me

I've noticed there's a lack in KisamexOC stories so I decided to write one :D

This is my first fanfiction. I'm not really that great, but I'm going to try.

So R&R with what you like or what you hate so I can improve and make it better :D

On with the show...erm...story!

* * *

I knew I was drunk. Somewhere in my mind, there was small part that was rational, and it kept telling me to stop, but of course I didn't listen. My mind was mostly _irrational _and that small sensible part of me was out voted. Besides, tonight was Makita's eighteenth birthday. Who wouldn't celebrate?

"How does it feel to finally be able to drink?" I asked Makita whilst I took a swig of sake.

"The same as last week," she replied laughing.

"Yeah but now it's _legal_!"

"That actually takes the buzz out of it. You don't feel quite as rebel."

I laughed as I walked away in search of another bottle of sake. Rebel would be the exact word I'd choose to describe Makita. On the outside she seems innocent and shy with her short dark brown hair, almost black eyes and a dark complexion; she was like a dark beauty. But away from the eyes of her parents she completely changed. If I met the shy Makita and then met the rebel-where's-the-nearest-party Makita, I'd be certain they were different people.

My eyes spotted my next sake bottle and I darted forward, weaving my way through the crowd. Just when I was about to grab it, another hand came out of nowhere and snatched it away. I was about to steal it back when I realized who's hand it was in.

"Eika!" I cried hugging the girl tightly.

"Ren!" She said equally as loud and equally as cheerful.

I took a step back and looked her up and down. In the two years I hadn't seen her, she'd changed. Her blonde hair now reached her waist instead of her shoulders and her blue eyes were outlined in eyeliner and mascara. When did she start using that? Unfortunately her skin was still as pale as ever. This girl seriously needed a tan. In a way, her appearance was the exact opposite of Makita's.

She launched into her story of where she had been and all the people she had meet, giving me winks every time she mentioned the meeting of a boy. Soon Makita found her way over and we all talked about old memories of when we were five and started giggling hysterically when we said something funny, even if it wasn't _that _funny. Hey, when you're drunk _everything _is amusing. We never managed to reach the stage where we started pouring out our deepest secrets until everyone had left except us.

We were all sitting on the floor, Makita's and I attention focused on Eika.

"…and then he rented this gorgeous hotel room and…well…you can guess the rest," she said with a sly smile.

Makita and I squealed like idiots and I punched her lightly in the arm, "For shame, Eika! You're too young! Wait until you're older and mature like me."

"You're a year older than me and Makita! And since when have you been mature?"

I laughed and made an attempt to stand up, surprised to find out I was standing on two feet without support and without wobbling.

"Since now," I replied dusting my dress off, "Mature people are smart right? So I'm going to be smart and leave so I don't have to clean up this mess."

I closed the front door on their protests, calling out happy birthday to Makita before turning around and walking towards the direction of my house. It was a cold night and I realized I had left my jacket inside. Not wanting to turn back since I had walked a too far already – yeah, a meter. My rational side said – I wrapped my hands around my arms and continued onwards. The wind was whipping strands of brown hair in my face and I seriously debated on whether or not I should cut it off, regardless of the fact I had tried so hard to grow it to the length it was at now; halfway down my back. A particularly strong gust of wind blew so much hair into my face that I was momentarily blinded. It was in this short time if blindness, that I walked straight into someone.

Angrily tucking my hair behind my ear, I tilted my head up to get a look at the person and was surprised at how tall they were, probably a head and a half taller than me. I smiled sweetly and vaguely wondered if this stranger's skin was really blue, or the alcohol was playing tricks on me.

The stranger leaned down and I noticed it was a guy. I also noticed his skin was indeed blue and he even had small gills on his cheeks. Even drunk I found that weird. He grinned – or rather attempted to – back at me, showing off his sharp teeth.

"I need your help," he said, his voice gruff, "my friend is injured a little way off from here. You know medical jutsu, right?"

I rubbed the back of my head, "Yeah, I guess so. But it's a late night and I'm tired –"

"He'll die if you don't help."

I sighed, somewhat annoyed. Now I didn't have a choice but to go and help his dying friend. I was looking forward to lying down in bed too. Sleep sounded wonderful at the moment. I realized I sounded rather rude, but having to stand up and dance for Lord knows how many hours in high heel shoes seriously put a strain on your patience.

"How far away is he?" I asked, suppressing a yawn.

"Not far."

I nodded rather reluctantly and motioned with my eyes for him to lead the way. I was too lazy to lift my arm. It didn't really occur to me that I was following a complete stranger. I didn't know how to defend myself if push comes to shove, but for some reason, let it be the sake or my "woman's intuition", it didn't bother me. Although, the curiosity as to who this guy was made me ask him something.

"What's your name?" I was suddenly in a childish mood.

"Kisame," he answered without turning around.

I giggled, "Kinda sounds like Kiss Me, doesn't it? Or maybe Kiss Are May, or Kiss Are Many. Oh! How about like a pirate? Kiss _arr _Me…whoa you look angry."

He had turned around and was glaring at me, his black eyes burning holes into my green ones. To escape his death glare, I turned my gaze upwards and noticed his hair. It was blue too, but darker than his skin. It seemed to defy gravity as it stood straight up, slanting slightly to the left.

"What's _your_ name?" he growled.

"Ren," I answered smugly. Try and find something to do with that!

His eyebrows knitted together as he tried to think of a comeback. After a few minutes of silence, he turned back around, muttering incoherent words. I giggled again as I skipped after him. I wasn't usually like this. I didn't usually annoy people – at least I didn't think I did – but I was having fun doing it to this guy, and I was in one of those moods. Those let's-annoy-the-tall-stranger-moods. I'm sure you've all had one of them.

"So," I said, making sure I dragged out the 's', "I noticed you had a big sword."

Silence.

"I was just wondering why someone as big as you would need a big sword as well."

Still nothing.

I smiled slyly when I leaned in close to him, my eyes glinting with evil intent, "Are you possibly using it to substitute the missing length in _other_ areas?"

He stopped abruptly and when I looked up at his face, I doubled over with laughter. It seemed he couldn't decide on whether to be furious or embarrassed. His eyes were narrowed but his cheeks were purple (my guess he was blushing. You know, blue and red make purple?)

I was surprised, however, when he started walking again. Not so much as a word being spoken. I frowned. So he was a hard nut to crack, ey? Well then, I was just going to have to pull out my biggest weapon. Something sure to make _anyone_ snap.

"Are we there yet?"

* * *

How did I do?

Any comments, pointers?

Crimson Poison xx


	2. Chapter 2: Welcome to the Akatsuki

Ok so here's chapter two.

I've noticed people are reading but not reviewing (Apart from two ;p)

I don't want to sound needy but I'd be great getting some feedback so I know if I'm doing anything wrong.

Anyways here's the next part to "Kiss Me Kisame"

Enjoy

Chapter Two: Welcome to the Akatsuki

* * *

Kisame was close to snapping, I could tell. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were clenched into fists, his knuckles almost going white. Luckily for him – unlucky for me – we arrived at his destination.

A rock.

A huge rock.

A huge rock at the base of a cliff.

My eyebrows rose up my forehead and I tilted my head up to get a look at his face. His was looking back down at me smirking. Smirking? He must not hold grudges easily. There were a few more moments of silence before I decided to break it.

"So, where's your friend?"

"Behind this," he said gesturing to the boulder.

I started freaking out, "Are you serious? Is he _under _it? Oh my God he's dead! He's splattered, he's smooshed, he's – huh?"

I watched in awe as the huge rock was slowly moving over to the left, as if it was being pushed by some unseen force. I was further awed when I realized there was a secret doorway hidden behind the rock. It was really clever. Anyone who happened to pass by it would have suspected nothing. Although, who would pass by here? The place was completely surrounded by forest. Kisame and I had walked a fair distance.

He motioned for me to enter and, like some over happy five year old, I ran inside. Inside the – well I guess you could call it a cave – wasn't what I had expected to see. There were carefully constructed halls that lead in every possible direction and although the walls were rock, the floor was covered in wooden floor boards. Obviously there we no windows but somehow everything was still bright, even without the assistance of light bulbs. Maybe it was some sort of genjutsu.

If it wasn't for Kisame nudging me to walk forward, I think I would have stayed in that same spot admiring the simplistic yet clever design of the place. I probably would have started counting the cracks in the walls.

If I was sober, I would have been wondering why or rather _how_ his friend would be injured in a place like this, but as everyone knows, I'm not.

I walked beside Kisame as we travelled down numerous hallways, following so many twists and turns and change of direction that I had completely lost my bearings by the time we stopped outside a wooden door. Not that I had any idea where I was anyway.

Kisame didn't bother knocking as he opened the door. I had no time to react before I was pushed inside and the door was closed behind me. Whirling around to face the newly closed door I glared. How rude! You don't just shove people through doors and then slam them closed! Stupid walking fish-man.

I was suddenly aware I was being watched and I turned slowly. Unlike the rest of the cave system, this room was dark and dim and had a rather ominous feel. I shivered without it having anything to do with the temperature.

"Ren Senka."

I searched for the source of the sound before my sight finally rested on two eyes. It was kind of surreal how they seemed to float there in mid air. Of course I knew they were on someone's face, but that someone seemed to be keeping their appearance hidden in the darkness. That's not creepy at all. The eyes were different, unique. They had swirls starting from the pupil and finishing at the edge of the eyes. They were actually kind of cool.

"Yes," I replied, rather confused as to why I sounded so afraid.

I heard the sound of shifting clothes and I finally got a look at who I was speaking to as they leaned forward. The person was a male and he seemed a good couple of years older than me. His hair was orange and he sported numerous facial piercings. He also had that 'menacing vibe' thing going on. Who was this guy?

"My name is Pein."

Oh, there we go. Mystery solved.

"Although you shall refer to me as Leader-sama when you speak to me, understood?"

"Whatever you say Pe – uh, Leader-sama," I said cheerily, my pervious fright forgotten.

"With your knowledge in medical ninjutsu, I believe you may be of some assistance to our organization."

Oh, so there wasn't any 'friend' I was supposed to heal that was close to death. I get it now.

"What organization might that be?"

"The Akatsuki."

I had to think for a moment. I knew I had heard that name before somewhere, but the memory that was tied to the word didn't want to stay still as it flitted across my mind, making it very difficult to 'read' the thought. Angrily, I mentally shoved it aside. When it wanted to stay still I would be glad to listen.

"Do I get a choice on the matter?" I asked.

"Yes. You can choose to join, or if you refuse you choose to die."

I grimaced, "That's not must of a choice."

"It's all you've got."

Sighing, I rolled my eyes like a child, "Fine, I'll join you're little gang."

Pein smiled as he leaned back, his features once more consumed by the darkness, "Of course you will not be a full member. Think of your time here as a trial of some sort."

"Sure, sure," I said waving my hand dismissively, "You just better hope I don't find a magnet in this place. Otherwise you're going to be experiencing some pain, Pein."

"Leader-sama," he growled.

I laughed as I opened the door.

"Leader-sama," I mimicked like a child, over deep growl and all.

Just before I closed the door, I heard him muttering about how he hoped I wasn't like this when I was sober. Was my drunkenness really that noticeable? As if to prove a point, I stumbled slightly when I took a step down the hall. Alrightly then universe, if you say so.

Kisame seemed to have disappeared and I frowned as I started walking down the hall. So, now where was I supposed to go?

"Who are you?"

I turned around and was immediately met by the piercing gaze of strange eyes. Did everyone have weird eyes? These ones were green and red. They looked cold, merciless and for the second time, I shivered.

"I'm Ren."

His face from the bottom of his eyes down was covered by a plain cloth. Oh, Mr. Mysterious was he? Too bad he didn't seem attractive.

"You must be the new recruit. Follow me."

I practically had to run to keep up with this guy; his strides were long and swift. His cloak swished back and forth as we walked. It was black with red clouds and I vaguely remembered Kisame wearing the same thing. I wasn't too sure about Pein since it was too dark to see.

"So what's your name?" I asked sweetly.

"Kazuku."

"As in 'a painting made to life'?"

"Yes."

"Where are we going?"

"Medical room."

Something told me that Kazuku didn't like talking too much. He wasn't giving me anything to work off so after a few more short answered questions, I fell silent. Just like when I was walking with Kisame, the corridor snaked in so many directions I felt slightly nauseated. I noticed this time, that we passed some doors on our way to the medical room. I wasn't given much time to wonder where the doors led though, because Kazuku abruptly stopped in front of a white coloured one.

He walked inside and I followed silently after him. This guy was seriously draining my upbeat mood, which was amazing since he wasn't doing anything. I trudged behind him as he gave me the 'guided tour'. This consisted of him pointing out rather battered looking medical beds, a scratched a dinted counter and medical instruments that still looked like there was blood on them. This was their medical room? I sighed inaudibly when I realized I would have to clean it up.

"Ok then," Kazuku said as he headed for the door, "That's all I've been ordered to do. If you're hungry, there's food in the kitchen. It's down the hall third door on the left."

I nodded my thanks and my stomach rumbled loudly at the mention of food.

The kitchen wasn't exactly clean. A fine layer of grease covered most surfaces and I wondered how anyone would be able to eat here and not end up with food poisoning. I was delighted to find out that the fridge housed edible items and I pulled out a glad wrapped bowl of what looked like pasta. Humming contently to myself, I pulled out a chair at the large rectangular table and took a seat, soon shoveling my face with food. I was almost finished when someone walked in.

He had slicked back silver hair and his eyes were violet – adding proof to my theory that everyone in this cave had different eyes. He also wore the black and red cloak and seemed pretty mad for some reason.

"Who the fuck are you?" he yelled across the room, the sound amplified due to the bareness of the room causing an echo. This kitchen only had a counter bench, a sink, a fridge, an oven/stove and the table I was sitting at. It lacked any sense of a 'homey' feel.

"Who the fuck are _you_?" I yelled back, although the sound was garbled as I was trying to speak around a mouthful of food. The result being just a whole lot of mumbling. The person seemed to get what I meant though as he stormed over to where I was sitting. He looked down at me.

"You're eating my food, bitch."

I swallowed, "I don't see your name on it."

He grabbed my bowl and turned it around to show me the name 'Hidan' written across the side in big bold letters. How did I manage to miss that?

"Do you want it back?" I offered him the almost empty bowl.

He snatched the bowl out of my hands and went to sit down at the opposite end of the table, glaring at me the whole way. He continued to keep his gaze on me as he ate.

"You're the new recruit right?" He asked spraying food across the table.

I nodded.

"Do you have a religion?"

"Not really," I replied after a pause.

"You should try Jashinism! It's really fucking great. You –"

"Shut your mouth, Hidan. The girl has no interest joining your stupid religion."

I turned my head towards the kitchen door. The man from before entered. Kazuku.

"What did you fucking say, asshole?"

"I said 'Shut your damn mouth' Hidan!"

Seeing as I was full and had no intention of listening to the two argue, I wondered through a doorway next to the fridge and found myself in a lounge room. Like the rest of the rooms I had been in, the place was dirty. The couch was old and beginning to tear and the small TV in the corner looked ancient. I didn't bother wondering how a cave could have electricity. Before I knew it, I was lying on the couch, somewhat surprised at how comfy it was. I was hardly aware I was falling asleep until my eyes drifted shut and my head flopped down onto the arm rest, the yells coming from the kitchen forgotten.

* * *

To me this chapter seems a little boring.

Don't worry though, it will pick up in later chapters.

I just don't want to rush it because it would seem to short

Review and you get presents :D

Crimson Poison xx


	3. Chapter 3: More Sake Please

I'd just like to thank my five reviewers; Sasunarufan101, The Bullet Sponge, mel-loves-rocklee, ZeeDraGon, and Kakashi Forever (thanks for pointing out my spelling mistake with KAKUZU's name :D)

Since you reviewed your all rewarded with the third chapter ;p

Chapter Three: More Sake Please

* * *

"Deidara when will you learn? Art is something wonderful that lasts long into the future. It is everlasting."

"You are a fool Master Sasori. Art is something transient that departs quickly, un. It's a bang!"

I growled. These two bickering voices had woke me up. I was having a rather peaceful sleep too, along with a great dream. Turning over on my side, I clapped my hands over my ears tightly in an attempt to shut out the voices. Of course I knew I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, but – like the stubborn person I am – I squeezed my eyes closed and willed myself to go back to my previous dream.

"Hey," Someone shook my arm, "I know your awake, un. Tell Sasori here the true meaning of art."

Angrily, I shook his hand off my arm. Wasn't I allowed some peace in this…erm…where was I?

"Yeah, tell Deidara that his view on art is incorrect and childish."

"What did you say about my art?"

Please, please, _please_ shut up! Or go in a different room at least. Just leave me alone! But where was alone? Don't tell me I ended up going home with a guy last night. I tried to gauge if I was wearing all my clothes without moving.

…

Yup, they all seemed present, phew.

"Did you not hear me, Deidara? Must I speak louder?"

Only a low growl was heard from the one called Deidara. Geez, they'd already started acting like animals. If something wasn't done they might rip each other's throats out. I guess someone better do something then. Yeah, any minute now someone is going to step in. Any minute. Any minute _now. _Now? Guess it was going to be me, huh?

Huffing in annoyance, I sat up, the blanket falling into my lap. That's strange; I don't remember falling asleep with that. I laughed inwardly, the only thing I _do _remember from last night was with what I fell asleep with. Just my luck.

Another set of low growls brought me back to the problem at hand.

I turned my head and glared at the two arguing boys. How did I already know they were boys? Their names sounded masculine and so did their voices, although, my first thought when I looked at the blonde one was _'female'._ It probably had something to do with the fact he had long hair. Half of it was pulled up in a ponytail on his head and the other half hung down loosely. He had bangs covering his left eye but from what I could see, the right one was blue. It was like a male version of Eika. This one was Deidara.

The other had flaming red hair. His expression was blank but I could see the fury in his chocolate brown eyes. This one was Sasori.

"If I tell you what _I _think about art, will you leave me alone?" I asked steadying myself on the back of the couch. Damn dizziness, go away hangover! No one wants you!

They didn't answer but they both focused their attention away from one another, and on to me. I guess that was a 'yes'.

"In my opinion, your both wrong," they leaned forward eyes glowing with anger and … is that bloodlust? I quickly added, "But you're both right too!"

Good God! These people need to calm down.

They settled back to their sitting position on the floor and raised their eyebrows at me.

"How can we be right – " Sasori.

" – and wrong at the same time, un?" Deidara.

Just a few seconds ago they were ready to rip each other's throats out with their bare teeth, and now they were finishing each other's sentences like best buds?

"If you let me finish, I'd be glad to explain."

Silence. I took that as a sign to continue.

"You see, you're both fixated on the fact that art has only _one _definition. It has many. What you guys are talking about are different parts of art, and it's these parts that make up the whole."

I smiled to myself. There we go, problem solved.

"But we're trying to figure out what true art is. But of course every one already knows it is everlasting."

"Art is a ba –"

"Same thing!" I yelled. If I hadn't cut in I knew another fight would ensue and the world as we all knew it would end! Hey who knows? With these guys it probably would happen.

"So now that I've resolved you're little conflict. Would one of you be as kind as to tell me where I am?"

My only answer was snickering. Oh gee, that was helpful.

Deidara was still snickering so Sasori opened his mouth to give me my answer. Unfortunately, he was interrupted before he could say anything.

"Deidara-sempai!"

A tall…man? ran into the room yelling at the top of his lungs. Why was I confused with whether or not he was a man? No it's not that he looked feminine like Deidara, he just acted liked a five-year old so I was unsure if he was a man or child. He wore a bright orange mask with a swirl pattern that started at his left eye; the only place he was able to see out of. Wouldn't that affect his depth perception?

"Deidara- sempai, Tobi says good-morning!"

I groaned. This guy's constant loud and childish voice was bringing on a headache. Who was Tobi anyway?

"Tobi is Tobi."

Oops. I didn't realize I had spoken aloud. At least the mystery was solved. The mask guy was Tobi and he seemed to like to talk in third person. Alrightly then.

I watched with carefully hidden amusement as Tobi tried to pull Deidara into a hug, It sort of ended up into a wrestling match with Tobi thinking it was a game and Deidara looking as if he would like nothing more than too suffocate the poor man-child. My assumption was proved correct as the blonde pulled my blanket off me and proceeded to wrap it around Tobi's neck. I quickly took this as my chance to exit the room, wobbling slightly due to the instant light headedness I got when I stood. I was in desperate need of a glass of water and had no intention of watching a possible murder take place. Aggressive people lived here. Again I was stuck on where 'here' was.

While I was deeply thinking of where I was, I accidently bumped into someone as I turned down the hallway. I looked up ready to apologize when I was caught in the gaze of blood red eyes. It felt like I was falling into them and my mind started pointing out the tiniest details about them. Like the three comma like black dots the surround the pupil and the faint black line that connected them all. And then, with a jolt similar to an electric shock, my memories of last night returned in a wave that sent my brain reeling for a moment. I remembered the party, joining the Akatsuki, making fun of its leader (I'm _so _dead) and a certain blue skinned someone. _Kisame!_

I was still sorting through the memories of last night so I almost failed to realize that the person I had run into was walking away from me. I opened my mouth to ask for his name.

"Itachi."

I blinked. Was he some sort of mind reader? I watched his retreating figure quietly, taking note of his raven black hair. It was long like Deidara's but all of his was pulled back in a low ponytail. He was kind of attractive actually.

After I had caught the last glimpse of Itachi, I sighed. So, now where was I off too? Right, the kitchen. I needed water. Turning around I let out a small yelp as I managed to walk – yet again – into someone. What was with me walking in to everyone and how come they always managed to be right behind me? Maybe they had me bugged.

I looked up, rubbing my nose painfully – this person had a really hard chest – and I laughed when I realized who it was.

"It's Kiss Me Kisame!"

His cheeks purpled slightly when he heard me use my nickname for him and further coloured when we both heard laughter coming from the next room. Deidara entered clutching his sides and tearing up in the corners of his eyes. What was so funny?

"Kiss Me Kisame? How'd you earn that, un?"

Oh.

Kisame growled quietly. A warning that he didn't like what was happening and wanted it to stop. But Deidara didn't seem to get the hint.

"Did you try and kiss her?"

More growling. Does everyone here act like a dog? If Kisame was going to be an animal he should at least be a shark for obvious reasons.

"Did she _ask _you to kiss her?" He gave me a look that sort of said, 'As if.'

Kisame reached back for his sword and acting quickly, I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the hallway. I'd had it with fights today, it only made my headache worse. When we rounded a corner I let go of his arm, trusting him enough to believe he wouldn't turn back around and go after Deidara.

I frowned slightly. I thought Kisame's nickname was cute, Deidara just made it into some sort of joke. He shouldn't pick on other people's names when his own meant 'mud'. It also meant 'banana', 'bat' and 'flaw'. I'd get him back for that later.

Deidara, the Flawed Banana Mud Bat.

"How did you know this was the way we were supposed to go?"

"Huh," I asked slightly confused, "I don't. I just walked to opposite way of Deidara. Where am I supposedly heading?"

He smiled slightly, "The medical room."

"Who's hurt?"

"Hidan. You've already met him right?"

"Yes."

The silver haired fowl mouthed guy? I remembered him; he doesn't like people eating his food. I don't blame him though, I love my food too.

We walked in silence during the short trip to the medical room. I enjoyed it; it eased the pain of my head. Although, I was still pretty thirsty. I'd have to grab a drink after I finished up with Hidan. His injuries shouldn't take long. It was probably just some cuts and bruises from his fight with Kakuzu last night.

I've never been more wrong in my life.

Hidan was lying down on one of the beds, lazily staring at the roof. Seems normal right? Did I forget to mention his right arm was detached?

I screamed I ran over to his side my hands moving around through the air above his body uselessly, unsure of what I was supposed to do. The fact that he was so calm about it didn't help either. Shouldn't he be howling in pain, pale from the loss of blood, _unconscious_ even? But no, he was looking at me like I was a lunatic and wondering why I was so freaked.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt? How did this happen?"

I heard Kisame chuckle from behind me, "He's fine, Ren. This is an everyday thing for Hidan."

I turned and gaped at Kisame, "Shouldn't he be bleeding? 'cause you know, that's what usually happens when someone has _their arm cut off!_"

"He's immortal," Kisame answered simply.

Now I heard Hidan chuckle.

I whirled around and glared at him, "You shouldn't be laughing! You should be hurting and making pained noises!"

"Oh the pain, it hurts so fucking much. How's that?" He smiled at me, "It's all part of Jashinism. I told you that you should fucking join. I perform rituals to shows my devotion to Jashin-sama and he rewards me with eternal life. I convert my pain to happiness and that's why I'm fucking fine."

Fine? There was no way Hidan was fine. He was mentally unstable! I felt my eyes widen as I took in the rest his appearance. Not only did he have a severed arm, but he also had deep cuts and gashes across his torso – which was bare – and a rather huge puncture right above his heart. Realistically, he should be dead. But wait, he's immortal so he can't die.

Hidan winked at me.

I flicked him on the nose, "Shut up, close your eyes and don't move."

I didn't see if he had done what I asked because I closed my own eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.

Forget the glass of water, I needed sake.

* * *

And that concludes chapter three :)

is the length of the stories good?

Crimson Poison xx


	4. Chapter 4: Operation: Escape

I'm not too sure about this chapter but it is slightly longer than the last :)

Chapter Four: Operation Escape

* * *

I really didn't want to have to heal Hidan ever again. It wasn't due to the seriousness of his injuries, that stuff I could handle. It was part of the job description when you learn medical ninjutsu. The thing I _couldn't _handle, was Hidan's constant string of comments and 'jokes' that left me having multiple heart attacks. One of which I will never forget…

_I was slowly tracing the line of a gash across his abdomen, the air around my hands glowing green. It was healing up nicely. I've always loved to watch as the skin resealed itself and fade to a faint pink scar. Usually I'd go back over the scars when I was finished and make those invisible too, although, I didn't think I would need to with this one. Finished with the last cut, I moved my hands to heal the hole above his heart. I concentrated a little more since this one was deeper._

_Hidan had complied with my request to close his eyes, and was lying down peacefully. He had shut up too, which was a great bonus - and an amazing feat for him. I actually thought he had fallen asleep. That was until his eyes suddenly shot open and he gasped._

_I yelped, startled by his sudden movement, and tried to pull my hands back. 'Tried' being the key word. He held both my wrists in his left hand – his right one was still detached – and looked at me panicking._

_Of course by this time I was panicking myself and when he yelled in pain and started twitching violently I really started freaking out. Hidan was yelling, I was screaming, Kisame was laughing in the corner – he had wanted to stay and watch me work. I wasn't really focused on the fact that Kisame was laughing because Hidan had suddenly coughed up blood and then went limp, the arm holding my hands falling down with a dull thud._

_My heart was hammering in my chest._

"_Hidan?"_

_Silence._

"_Hidan?" I said again leaning closer, "Hidan?"_

_Right when we were practically touching noses his eyes shot open._

"_Boo."_

_I was positive I had a heart attack right then. Screaming, my head flew backwards and I covered my mouth with my hands. My knees were shaking and I could hear my heart thudding in my ears. That and Hidan's mad laughter. Kisame was snickering in the background too, somehow he had known it was a prank right from the beginning. They both found it hilarious. Me? I found it down right _terrifying._ Actually, now I was pretty mad._

_Seeing red, I hit Hidan over the head with my fist, putting a stop to his laughing effectively. He slumped back onto the pillow with his eyes shut. Of course I knew this time that he was fine; his chest was rising and falling slowly. He was just unconscious._

_I heard Kisame's own laughter cut off sharply. Turning to glare at him, I warned him with my eyes that if he so much as _breathed_ loudly, I'd give him a good whack too._

_Focusing my attention back on Hidan, my hands glowed green once again and I resumed my work; this time in peace and quiet. All the while I was grinning evilly to myself. _

I was still smiling as I walked into the kitchen. Hidan was still passed out in the medical room and I guessed he would probably stay that's way until morning. Sleep was good for his body anyway. I didn't care if he was immortal or not, the sleep would help his body heal any cuts or infection I had missed.

My stomach growled audibly when the smell of food met my nostrils. A severe chunk of my day had been stolen from me, causing me to miss breakfast and lunch; I was definitely not going to allow myself to miss dinner too. I hardly realized the two figures already sitting on the dining table before I filled an empty bowl with food that was already set out on the table. It was when one of them started talking did I notice I wasn't alone.

"You're the new recruit, Ren Senka aren't you?"

My gaze focused on the one who spoke and the first thing I thought was 'Yes! Another girl!'. _Her _hair reached just under her chin and was rather style less apart from the paper origami flower sitting on the right side of her head. The flower and her hair were both blue which brought out her blue eye shadow as well. She had a piercing on her lower lip in the middle and although her face was expressionless, her eyes looked happy as she also realized she was no longer the only female member here.

I smiled sweetly and nodded, still elated that I would be able to have those conversations that only girls could have, maybe.

"My name's Konan. This is Zetsu," she gestured to the man sitting across from her, at least I thought it was a man.

Why did almost every male here have to slightly resemble something else? I mean Kisame would be a shark, Deidara would be a woman, Tobi would be a child - scratch that, he would be a lollipop - and this guy Zetsu, well he wasn't any of those. He resembled a plant.

Two strange flytrap-like extensions covered his upper body which was strangely halved into one white side and one dark side. His eyes were yellow and his short messy hair was the same green as the extensions.

"Hello," oddly enough, only the white side spoke.

"Hi," I replied turning my eyes to my food.

I had always been taught not to stare and if I had kept looking a moment longer, I wouldn't have been able to look away.

"I've been searching for you all day," Konan said, "I wanted to welcome you here. Where have you been?"

"I was healing Hidan in the medical room," I answered grabbing a fork off the table.

"I'm guessing you've met everyone else already. We're quite a colourful lot aren't we?"

I smiled as I stabbed a piece of something in my bowl, "Definitely different."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," she said with a smile of her own.

I wanted to smile back but I had placed the food in my mouth and my eyes widened at the taste. No, it wasn't some amazing you-can-hear-the-harps-playing-in-heaven taste, it was more of a I-can-hear-Satan's-evil-cackling-from-hell.

I choked and spluttered in my attempts to rid my mouth of the vile taste. It was as if someone had purposely gone out of their way to try and create the most horrible tasting yet edible thing possible. Congratulations whoever you are, mission accomplished.

With my right hand clutching my throat, I ran to the sink and turned the tap on with my left, ducking my head under the flowing water to gulp it down. After a few minutes of guzzling, I removed my head and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. The taste still lingered on my tongue but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I heard a deep chuckle from behind me.

Turning around, I looked for who the voice belonged to since Zetsu's was a lighter tone and Konan's was more feminine. When I heard the chuckle again I was surprised to find out that it was indeed Zetsu who had laughed, but this time it was his _dark _side. It seemed he had a split personality to the extreme.

"Rule number one," the dark side said, "Never eat food that's lying around."

I raised my eyebrow as he helped himself to a bowl full and started eating it without complaint. Did he maybe, like the taste? I inwardly shuddered at my own experience of the flavor, I don't think I will ever break food number one again..._ever_.

Sighing, I turned and opened the fridge looking for something to eat. From what I remembered, things that had others people's name on it were off limits. My brow furrowed when I realized the only things that were unnamed were five potatoes and some light brown substance that looked like soup. Suddenly, I had an idea on what to make. But first, I needed someone's permission.

Pulling out a dish of plain noodles I held it up for Konan to see.

"If I make you some as well, can I use your food?"

She nodded, a small smile crossing her face.

Pleased with her answer, I pulled out the soup – please let it be soup – and the potatoes. I wasn't quite sure on how I was going to cook it all so I resorted to the most oldest and wisest teaching method. When in doubt; chuck it all in.

A little while later, my creation was poured into two separate clean bowls. How I managed to find clean things in this kitchen was a mystery.

I inhaled the aroma of the food as I placed a steaming bowl in front of Konan, taking a seat myself after. We both looked at each other, waiting for the other person to take the first bite. Some sort of silent agreement passed between us and we both popped the food into our mouths at the same time. I smiled as the taste hit my tongue. It was okay, good enough to erase the old flavor completely, but just okay. Konan seemed to like it enough too.

"Wow Ren-chan," she said, "It doesn't even taste like what you put in it, it's better. Where'd you learn to cook?"

I tried to talk around a mouthful of food, "Nori; she's my best friend's mother."

Konan only nodded since she was too busy eating. It was now that I noticed I forgot to offer Zetsu any.

"Want to try some?" I asked pushing my bowl forward.

He seemed slightly offended when he answered, "No. I don't eat any form of vegetable, fruit or plant."

"Oh," I said simply. I guess that made sense him being half plant and all.

We ate in silence; me and Konan eating my soup and Zetsu eating the…I'm not quite sure what to call it. It wasn't long after we had all finished that Kisame came in. He walked into the kitchen, obviously drawn here by the smell of food and looked unhappy when he realized it all had already been eaten. I smiled apologetically at him from my position at the sink. Konan and I were washing the dishes. He smiled back and walked over to the fridge, pulling out his own bowl of cold pasta. It seemed pasta was a favourite here.

"So," he said after swallowing a bite, "Have you been shown your room yet?"

I heard Konan sigh, "Oops. I was supposed to show her a few hours ago. Sorry."

I waved my hand dismissively, "Don't worry; it wasn't your fault I was missing most of the day. Blame Hidan."

"Do you want me to take you now?" she asked as she dried her hands on a towel.

"Its fine, I got it," Kisame said as he placed an empty bowl on the counter. Damn, he ate fast.

I dried my own hands off on my clothes as I followed Kisame out the door. He wasn't wearing his cloak today. Instead he was wearing a plain sleeveless top and baggy blank pants. I was surprised to find that the trip to my room wasn't as long as I thought it would be and not nearly as confusing as my previous trips around the cave. We stopped outside a wooden door that looked rather old and battered. When I pushed it open it creaked loudly and I frowned when I saw a cloud of dust blow out of the room. I looked up at Kisame, my question plain in my eyes.

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "Granted it is rather old but it beats sleeping out on the couch."

I laughed with him and walked inside, trying not to sneeze as the dust particles went up my nose. A double bed was pressed up against the far wall (covered in dust) with two small beside tables (covered in dust) on both sides. There was also a wardrobe and a small dresser (covered in dust) on the right wall. Notice the constant mention of dust. On the left side of the room was a door, and wondering where the door led, I walked over and pushed it open, delighted to find that it opened to my own bathroom complete with a shower, a sink and toilet.

I walked back into the bedroom and found Kisame was still in the doorway.

"I got you some clothes," he said gesturing to a pile of cloth on my bed.

I picked it up and shot a questioning look at him when the pants I was holding reached the floor. Even the top he had gotten seemed as if it would look more like a dress on me.

"I thought they'd be a little big," he said.

"A _little_?"

He chuckled softly, "Yeah, they're mine."

For some reason, this made my cheeks redden slightly.

"I didn't get you Konan's because I don't think you'd like her choice of, erm, nightwear."

"Oh," I said.

There was an awkward silence for a little while before Kisame excused himself.

"Do you want me to close the door?" He asked before he left.

I shook my head. When he was out of sight, I permitted myself to undress. I peeled off the dress I still wore from the party on my way to the bathroom. My shower was swift but definitely necessary. The water felt like heaven on my skin and I felt somewhat sad as I turned off the taps. I got dressed into the giant shirt Kisame left me, treating it as a nightie. I didn't bother with the pants; they were more like a blanket anyway.

Climbing into the bed I laid back and stared at the ceiling, waiting until I thought everyone had gone to sleep. There was a reason why I had asked Kisame to leave the door open. It would make too much noise if I opened it when I went to sneak out.

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Sorry if it seems a little rushed I was - obviously - rushing ;p

Crimson Poison xx


	5. Chapter 5: Both Plans Foiled

I really liked how this chapter turned out, even if it is a little short, enjoy.

Chapter Five: (Both) Plans Foiled

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I was having an inner conflict. Half of me wanted to wait five more minutes, and the other just wanted me to get up and go already. The first half had been winning the past four fights but finally the second half succeeded and I grudgingly rolled off the bed.

I'd been planning my escape for the past hour. It was simple; escape the hideout. But sometimes simple didn't mean easy. I would have to be silent, invisible and quick. Not to mention the winding and twisting hallways that led God knows where. It began to dawn on me why they were that way in the first place; to make it extremely difficult to infiltrate – or in my case escape. I know it seemed as if I had, in a way, "fitted in" but that didn't mean I belonged. People back home were probably wondering where I had disappeared to and I had been kidnapped by the Akatsuki anyway, devoid of free will. Well, at least that's how I liked to think Kisame had succeeded in bringing me here. Although I wonder if I would have joined if I was sober. Maybe I would have…not. I mean I would have said no…right?

Sighing, I padded my way over the doorway, squinting to see down the hallway due to the darkness. It seemed that the same jutsu that kept the place light during the day, kept the place dark during the night. This wasn't going to help me at all.

I emerged from my room slowly, trying to keep my breathing quiet. The other member's rooms would be along this hall and I started wondering what I would say if one of them discovered me.

I was sleepwalking?

Oh yeah, that would _so _work. My eyes would be open.

I was getting a drink?

Nah, there were taps in the bathroom, besides, that was way to cliché.

I was restless so I was going to watch TV?

…Maybe. It still sounded lame but it was the best I got. Watching TV it is.

I immediately froze in my spot and stopped breathing when I heard movement behind a door on my left. It just sounded like they were turning in their sleep so after a few more minutes, I continued on my way.

My arms were stretched out in front of me and waving around to make sure I didn't walk into anything. Somehow this didn't stop me from whacking my foot into a table that was sitting against the wall. I cursed and hopped on my right leg as I held onto my left. My toe was throbbing painfully. Apparently this didn't turn out to be a good idea as I lost my balance and fell on the floor with a dull thud.

I heard the sound of a door being opened.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I crawled and pressed myself against the wall. Holding my breath, I turned my head and tried to see who it was. All I could make out was the faint outline of someone's head sticking out of the doorway.

"Who's out there, un?"

Oh, so it was Deidara. There was a long period of silence and I started feeling lightheaded from the lack of oxygen.

"Go back to bed, Tobi," he said with a yawn.

I let out my breath with a whoosh and smiled to myself when I heard him close the door and go back to sleep. If was anyone else other than Deidara I knew I would have been discovered. I painfully got to my feet. Now it wasn't just my toe that hurt, but my knee too. It had gotten a good whack on the floor.

Limping slightly, I turned a corner on the right and immediately hit a solid wall. Frowning, I rubbed my forehead and pouted. I turned around to correct my mistake. This time I went left and thankfully, there was no wall blocking my way.

Unfortunately, after many turns that led me in countless directions I found myself back where I started; at the entrance to my room. Growling in frustration I realized I would have to go through a door to find my way out. The reason why I hadn't done this before was because there was the possibility I would end up in someone's bedroom. Now I'm just guessing here, but that wouldn't work out to well for my escape plan now would it?

"What's a girl got to do to get out of this place," I muttered softly.

I made my way down the hallway again, passing Deidara's room and carefully avoiding the table that I knew was there, but this time around, instead of turning left _or _right, I walked through a door at the end of the hall.

My eyes had adjusted somewhat to the darkness so I could make out features of the room I was in. I could make out the solid outline of something tall and rectangular and other small cube like objects. In the centre I could make out the outline of a bed.

Mentally slapping myself for walking in so loudly, I slowly backed up so I wouldn't disturb the person sleeping. Little did I realize that the figure that was meant to be in the bed was missing.

I continued walking silently backwards until I felt myself bump something warm and breathing. Swallowing loudly, I turned my head upwards to see who it was that I had backed into. I saw the familiar features of a certain member I smiled sheepishly in the darkness.

"Hi there," I whispered.

Kisame leaned down so his eyes were level with mine. Well, at least I thought they were. All I saw was a dark shadow.

"Where are we going this late?" he asked quietly.

My previous excuse deserted me and left me fumbling with my words, "I, er…walking, um…TV?"

Kisame took a step forward, causing me to go further into his room. I heard the sound of his door closing and then the faint click of a light switch. My eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness of the hall, so I was momentarily blinded when the harsh lights were turned on.

When I could finally see again, I looked up at Kisame. His usually spiky hair was hanging around his face covering his eyes and I noticed he had decided not to wear a shirt to bed – oh wait, I was wearing it.

I wretched my eyes away from his bare chest but it was too late. His naked torso was forever etched into my mind. Damn, how much did he work out to get abs like that?

I turned my gaze up to his face and noticed he too was taking in my appearance. Feeling somewhat self conscious of my messy hair and bare legs I turned around, blush evident on my cheeks.

His room was more sentimental and definitely lived in than mine. The tall rectangular shape turned out to be a bookcase filled with books across a wide range of subjects and other various things. The cube shapes were small tables and dressers, some of which with pictures of marine creatures resting on them. Sitting above his double bed, though, was a huge landscape painting of the ocean complete with a sandy beach, lighthouse and a setting sun.

"I'll ask again," Kisame said breaking the silence, "Where were you going?"

"I was going to watch some TV since I couldn't get to sleep." The lie fell dead in my ears and I knew he didn't believe it for a second. Hell! I didn't even believe it.

"You're really bad at lying."

I nodded and sighed.

"You know I was following you ever since you walked out of your room."

I whirled around facing him, "You were not."

"How's your foot?" he asked smirking.

I glowered slightly, "Well, what were _you_ doing out of bed, you know, besides stalking me?"

"Getting a drink," he replied holding up an empty glass.

Was he lying? I searched his face for the answer and after a few moments I came up with nothing. Ok then, if he says so.

I slowly moved past him and headed for the closed door.

"Now that everything is cleared up, I'm going back to bed. Good –"

I felt a hand grip the back of the shirt I was wearing and pull me back.

" –night. What?"

He let go of my (his?) shirt and raised his eyebrow at me, "If you go back to bed, how will I know you won't try and sneak out again?"

I shrugged and tried to get to the door again. Realistically, he was right. He wouldn't know if I would try to leave again, but I did. The answer? I would try as many times as I could before I got caught…again.

"Do you want to know my solution?" he asked pulling me back again.

"You're going to bolt my door closed? Tie me to the bed?"

"Nope," he gestured to his bed, "You're sleeping here tonight."

I stared at him, my mouth open. I didn't want to even think about the many reasons as to why I shouldn't, but still they snaked their way into my mind.

1. If someone found out they'd think the worst.

2. I was a restless sleeper.

3. What if Kisame tried something?

I immediately shunned the last one. I didn't think Kisame would do something like that. I might have only known him a short amount of time but I was fairly confident in the matter that I was safe in that area.

After a few more minutes of thinking, I realized I didn't actually have a really good, solid reason to refuse. Apart from the fact that it would be mildly awkward. Sighing in defeat, I nodded and walked over to the bed – a sudden wave of drowsiness overcoming me.

Eyes half lidded, I shuffled my way over to the left side and crawled in, refusing to make eye contact with him. I fluffed up my pillow and curled up on my side. After a few seconds, the light snapped off and I felt a weight getting into the other side of the bed. For some reason, when the light was switched off, I was awake again and super aware of the fact that we were both under the same blanket. A blanket that felt somewhat familiar. My eyes widened when I realized this was the same blanket that I had woken up with on the couch. That was sweet of Kisame.

I have to admit, it was just as must as awkward I thought it was going to be; maybe more. Suddenly, I had a cunning plan. Rolling over so that I was facing Kisame, I wrapped my arm around his waist and snuggled into him. I felt his breathing stop and I grinned evilly. I knew he felt just as awkward as I did so maybe if I made it too awkward, he would kick me out or something. Kisame let out his breath slowly, but otherwise did nothing. He didn't even ask me to remove my arm. Maybe he had thought I had fallen asleep. My guess was confirmed when he gently plucked my arm off him and place it at my side, as if trying not to wake me.

I frowned, knowing he wouldn't be able to see me in the darkness. Well there goes my master plan. Foiled just like my plan to escape. Pretending to re adjust my position in my sleep, I huffed a little and rolled back over so I was in the same spot I had begun with. Oh well, at least if I got cold I could –

No.

I will not cuddle up to him. I am going to lie here, unmoving until the halls brighten again. Not falling asleep would be a bonus but I knew that wasn't going to happen. Still feeling awkward, I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, praying I wouldn't do anything whilst I was in dreamland.

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I think you're going to like the next chapter :D (no, not like your thinking XD)

Crimson Poison xx


	6. Chapter 6: Awkward

Chapter Six: Awkward

REVIEW!

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I smiled slightly as I snuggled closer to Kisame; his arm wrapped firmly around my waist. We'd both been awake for a while now, but neither of as spoke since we didn't want to disturb the tranquil atmosphere. Although, we also knew that it would be rude _not _to communicate. We resorted to having a conversation without words.

A slight squeeze on my waist. _Good morning._

My hand rested on top of his. _Good morning._

He nuzzled my neck with his head. _How are you feeling?_

I sighed. _Happy._

Although the peace of the morning was shattered when the bedroom door was thrown open and two kids ran in. One with blue hair, one with brown; they were miniature versions of their parents.

Wait… _parents?_

I woke up rather suddenly and sat up straight as stiff as a board. You've got to be kidding me, I dreamt of a future with _Kisame_? I felt my cheeks redden with embarrassment even though I knew no one could possibly know what I had dreamt of. It felt so real. I could practically smell the flowers on the windowsill in my dream, and I could've sworn I really did feel an arm around my waist. Frowning, I remembered something similar to that from last night. Wait, did it really happen or did I dream that too?

Running a hand through my hair I began to try and sort out what was dream and what was reality. Getting my own room; reality. Sneaking out; reality. Stubbing my toe; my foot still hurt so I was pretty sure that was reality too. Getting caught by Kisame; I'm thinking reality. Spending the night in Kisame's room; Reality. No, dream. Wait, maybe reality…dream? Ugh, I don't know!

Sighing, I rolled off the bed and headed to the bathroom that I knew was there. I was glad I had a basic idea of how the room was set out since it was still too dark to see clearly. I'd have a shower, and then when I was calm and more awake, I'd tackle to whole 'dream vs reality' thing again. Placing my hand against the smooth wood of the door, I pushed it open.

It was now that I realized that the shower as already occupied.

I screamed and backed out of the bathroom, slamming the door closed. Inside I could hear Kisame slip and fall in the shower. Refusing to open the door and check if he was ok – or conscious even – I rested my back against the door and slowly slid down it until I was on the floor, my hands covering my mouth. I had just walked in on Kisame in the shower. _In . The. Shower. _Of course everything was too steamed up from the fog the hot water caused to see anything, but that still didn't get rid of the fact I walked in. And now my mind – a small evil and perverted part – was throwing images at me that I had avoided seeing; my imagination working overtime. It was showing me his rock, hard stomach glistening in the water, his blue hair wet and plastered to his face, his –

I felt my cheeks flush and the back of my neck grow hot.

Hands now covering my nose, I went in search of a tissue. Nosebleed; are you serious? Finding a box of tissues, I grabbed out a handful and pressed it to my nose with my left hand. My right was trailing along the length of the wall, searching for the familiar feel of something in particular. When I found it, I flipped it with a click and waited for my eyes to adjust to the new bright light.

Ok, there was no need to solve my earlier problem. I had indeed spent the night in Kisame's room. Geez that sounded bad; like something had happened. I'd just like to clear it up that nothing had gone on.

Pulling the tissue away from my nose, I used the conveniently placed trash can and discarded the, now tinted red, tissue. Muttering inaudible ramblings, I massaged my temples and mentally shoved the images that were dancing in front of my eyes away. I locked them in a chest in the far corner of my mind and threw away the key. Ok, then.

The water running in the shower was shut off.

Making my decision in a split second, I opened the bedroom door and ran out into the hall. Kisame obviously knew I had walked in. He didn't just happen to fall down as soon as I entered. I don't know what anyone else would've done had they been in my position but I didn't wanted to be confronted by him at the moment. Granted I wouldn't be able to avoid it forever (Damn!) but an hour or two would be an acceptable amount of time.

Briskly walking, I was hardly aware of where I was heading until I entered. Ok, the kitchen it was then.

The first thing I noticed wasn't the whole bunch of glad wrapped food containers on the kitchen bench, but the amount of people seated at the table; which was everyone except Pein and Kisame. They all raised their heads when they heard me enter and I saw as their eyes dropped down when they realized what I was wearing.

Maybe I should've stopped by my room to change first. Although, what did I have to change into?

"Why is Ren-chan wearing Kisame's shirt?" I saw that it was the mask wearing guy from before, Tobi. Deidara mustn't have succeeded in murdering him.

"Because I needed fresh clothes Tobi-san," I replied slightly embarrassed. Not too sure why by embarrassed nonetheless.

"Oh," was his simple reply, "And you must call Tobi, Tobi-_kun_."

I smiled at him – a little unsure whether or not he smiled back – and headed over to the food bowls. There was quite a range and I felt myself wondering why they were all sitting out in the open. Maybe they had gone off; it wouldn't surprise me. There was some sort of food from each person and as I reached out to pick one up I noticed the state the kitchen bench was it.

It was _clean._

I swiped my finger along the surface and brought it up to my face to inspect, as if I was some sort of clean freak. It was amazing; there was no grease or grime on my finger that would've been there yesterday. Wonder what spurred the other members into cleaning it up. Maybe Pein was absent because he got food poisoning.

"We all tidied the kitchen up since we thought you wouldn't like cooking in a dirty one," Sasori said boredly from behind me.

"Is that your, oh-so-subtle way of asking me to cook for you?" I asked turning around.

"I told the other members about your cooking last night and they wanted to taste for themselves," Konan explained.

I nodded, it made sense. Although, I still wonder why Pein was absent. I growled mentally when I realized he probably thought of himself as too good to eat with the others. Something told me be possessed a huge ego.

I had no objection to cooking for everyone, actually, I loved cooking. It would also be the perfect thing to take my mind off this morning's…incident. The chest in my mind rattled slightly in its corner but didn't burst open.

Before I started on my monster task of cooking for eleven people – Pein was going to eat whether he liked it or not – I had the mind to ask if anyone had any preferences to their food. Was I ever glad I did, because it seemed everyone had something to contribute.

Tobi seemed to like sweet flavored things, but hated bitter. Deidara like his food spicy and despised plain food with a passion. Sasori just didn't eat at all – just like a teenage girl. Hidan like meat and Kakuzu was rather finicky about having all the necessary nutrients and amino acids. Itachi was a fan of bland foods (too me rather surprising) and as I already knew, Zetsu didn't eat any form of plant. Konan wasn't fussed unless it had a nice flavor and said that Pein had a weakness for sour things. I made the assumption that Kisame would like things with fish. Apparently the other members thought I was wrong but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Kisame is a shark and sharks eat fish. If Kisame was a fish he would have huge eyes and be constantly opening and closing his mouth like a moron.

After I had all my necessary information I walked back over to the food bowls to see what I would be working with. Somewhat glad I now only had to cook for ten now. Scratching the back of my head while I thought, I realized I would have to cook something different for all of them. Unlike most people, my breakfasts tended to be rather large since I was a strong believer in the fact that breakfast was the biggest meal of the day, not dinner.

With a sigh, I started cooking up my dishes. This might take a while.

A few hours and a group of hungry people later, I placed a plate of food in front of all of them. I was pretty surprised I had all the necessary ingredients to make all the things I wanted too, despite a substitute or too. Everyone had a dish they should like and Kisame's, Pein's and mine were sitting on the counter. I was nervous when they all took their first bites, afraid of resentment of my food. My worry seemed to be without reason as praise was spoken as soon as they swallowed.

"Fucking great, Ren!" Hidan obviously.

"Interesting…" Itachi always vague.

Deidara was busy gulping down his water, Tobi had somehow already managed to eat all of his food (a faster eater than Kisame it seemed) and Konan winked at me.

I smiled at them all, pleased with the fact that they enjoyed the things I cooked and went to go sit on the counter and eat my own food. It was mostly silent as everyone ate apart from an argument between Hidan and Kakuzu, and Deidara and Tobi. Everyone managed to finish around the same time – myself included – and I moved to clear all the plates. As I moved around the table, piling the dishes high in my arms, Zetsu spoke.

"Would you mind cooking for us all the time?" his white side asked softly.

I stopped to think. It sounded like a fun idea, and I liked the challenge of cooking for such a wide variety of people. Sure the dishes might be a pain but what else was there to do around this place?

"Sure," I agreed, "But there's a problem; I used up all the food."

I saw Kakuzu stiffen, "_All _the food?"

"Well there's enough to make a lunch snack, but I might need to go shopping today if you guys want dinner."

"If anyone is going shopping, it will be me. I don't trust you with money; you'll buy the most expensive brands. Besides, you've wasted enough."

Ouch. Chalk one up for Mr. Mysterious. Actually, now that I think about it, Tobi's mask is more secretive than Kakuzu's cloth.

My mood had visibly decreased when I pilled all the plates, glasses and cutlery into the sink. I filled it up with hot water and let it soak for a little while before I actually washed it.

When I turned back around, everyone was already leaving. Eat and leave; did I expect anything else? Konan, at least, had a reasonable excuse to leave, holding up Pein's plate as signal she was taking it to him. Zetsu's two halves argued – slightly weird to watch – about whether or not he should help but soon left along with the others. Kakuzu was among the last to leave and seemed to be muttering something I couldn't quite catch. He seemed rather angry though.

"Is that for me?"

I froze when I heard Kisame's voice, the chest in my mind rattling like crazy now. I clenched my jaw to keep it shut, managing a stiff nod in his direction.

He ignored my obviously awkward reaction and proceeded to inspect the food I made, a smile lighting up his face.

"I love fish," he said, "But no one seems to buy any."

I relaxed, my satisfaction of being right about Kisame's food preference easing my mood. He smiled at me as he pulled a clean fork out of a drawer near the sink. It seemed he had chosen to ignore what had happened this morning and I slightly thanked him for it.

With his fork in one hand and plate in the other, he turned to leave the room obviously seeking somewhere else to eat.

"Have you told anyone I tried to escape?" I asked softly, my voice almost above a whisper.

He stopped, his back facing me, "I caught you so I don't see the need to." He started walking again but before he left the room he spoke again, "And I _really_ don't want to see you get into trouble…or gone."

I blinked after he disappeared from my sight. Was that a tinge of purple I saw on his cheeks?

* * *

Not much dialogue in this one...actually in many of them :S

Review please :D

Crimson Poison xx


	7. Author's Note

Hey, guys.

Well, I'm not dead, even though with the length of my absence it would seem that way.

I am so sorry for neglecting this story, I honestly didn't think it would be so liked (and it's not even the popular).

So, what's it been, two, three years?

I always said to myself I would never leave a story unfinished, at least, not without warning any readers that I would be putting the story on pause as I did some other stuff. I have become my worst nightmare.

I think I might start this story back up again, while I also begin my Zabuza x OC story. I'm not too sure yet since it's been so long since I've been on this account that I've actually forgotten what I wanted to happen with this story.

Feel free to send me a private message and give me suggestions on how to continue this story. I'd actually really appreciate it if you did. You'd be doing me a huge favour.

But yes, I have quickly written this author's note, just to let you know I'm very much alive and ready to get this story started again if you all are willing to read it.

'til next time,

Crimson Poison


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